Salamat (Thank You)!

Despite my predisposition to the melancholy, I have always tried to be thankful for the little everyday things and for just plain being alive.  This somehow got clouded by my having spent years with certain…ehrrm…acquaintances who used gratitude to a ‘supreme being’ as something to excuse lousy work.  That made thankfulness synonymous with escapism in my mind.  Yeah, I realize I’m a jaded soul that way.

But there’s hope for me yet.  You see, I am really an Esqueleto, and though I am also a Nacho for that stubborn belly fat that lost the wrestling match, sciiieeence and its evidence-based approach to explaining things hold a great deal more appeal to me than the bubbly, misty-eyed ways of my faithful acquaintances.  So when science said that being grateful is actually good for you, I decided to give my mind a gratitude makeover on top of disciplining it to stay in the present.

smile!Today, I start this gratitude section in my topsy-turvy world.  After an emotionally exhausting day at work, I am thankful for:

  1. A still successful workshop in spite of a rocky start.
  2. A co-facilitator with a knack for zeroing in on the relevant stuff.  She is not the easiest to get along with, but I would always appreciate her extensive knowledge and experience and her passion for doing the right things the right way.
  3. The handful that stayed.  Only half of my expected participants remained for the actual workshop, and even fewer committed to attend the next, but they seemed to be the ones who had a keen interest to join our initiative. In the end, I realized that I would rather have a handful of involved volunteers than a crowd of passive faces.
  4. A responsive, no-nonsense boss who quickly called to offer advice and comfort. I am so lucky to be working with her again, and to be in certain situations where we can share stories and views not just about work but about life in general.
  5. The chance to do something I have always thought I could not do.  I am certainly out of my comfort zone now; I cannot even glimpse its huge gates from afar. I am unsure every minute, second-guessing myself every moment.  It feels like one wrong move could prevent me from setting foot anywhere related to health in my city.  Yet deep down, I feel myself growing, getting a tad bolder and braver.  I am  becoming a better listener and a humbler worker.  I am learning new ways to get conversations going and ideas flowing, realizing that sometimes it’s all about the kinds of questions you ask, and if you care enough to risk the tough ones.  I am learning how to keep trusting people and to keep believing in the better part of their nature.  I am learning how it is to view everyone as partners rather than aloof human beings who would not give me the time of day.

I am learning. Yup! I am grateful.

My acquaintances would be proud.

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